


This is the First Step

by fandomfix, frapandfurious



Series: you'll make your real friends and set yourselves apart [7]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Christmas Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Pre-Slash, omg i can finally use that tag without guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-09 07:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7792366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomfix/pseuds/fandomfix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's finally December, and with the end of term comes the age old tradition: Christmas presents. Along the way, some revelations begin to peek out of the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Its the Most Stressful Time of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was a struggle. I don't know WHY cause i knew exactly what I wanted, but for some reason it took me a good week (and a frantic convo with frapandfurious) to write this. Hopefully it measures up.
> 
> And yes, you read those tags/that summary correct. We are getting ready to dip our toes into the waters of Pining. Soon, my lovelies.... _soon_

Hogsmeade is beautiful this time of year.

 “Hux if you don’t hurry up I’m leaving you behind and you’ll be stuck here for the rest of your life!”

He sighed, shaking his head and moving to catch up with his friend.

“That doesn’t even make sense, darling. I can walk back to the castle from here.”

She didn’t dignify him with a response. She simply kept rushing down the street.

It had been a few weeks since the day they snuck into Hogsmeade. It was now the beginning of December. Soon the professors would be handing out exams and they would be going home for the holidays. It was this that had Phasma in such a mood.

Most years, she and Hux exchanged small gifts. Nothing too personal, because neither of them usually had the time to go spend hours at Hogsmeade searching for presents. But this year was different.

This year they had Kylo.

And a few days ago he’d off handedly mentioned never being involved in a gift exchange.

*

“Of course my family gives me gifts,” he said, rolling his eyes at the horrified look on Phasma’s face.

_“Yes but Ky, you’re only with them for a few weeks during the school year. What about before you leave for the holiday?”_

_She seemed overly concerned about it. Hux couldn’t help feeling surprised, considering how little she normally cared about such things._

_“Phas, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but before the two of you I didn’t really have_ friends _.”_

_Neither of them could deny this. They fell into a stilted silence which lasted until Kylo left for class._

_Once he was gone, Phasma and Hux made their way back to the common room. They collapsed into chairs in front of the fireplace, when Phasma began talking._

_“Hux,” she said, sounding contemplative. He was immediately worried. He turned to her, seeing a look of deep concentration on her face. He made a noise of acknowledgement, waiting for her to continue._

_“Christmas is coming.”_

_“Wonderful observation, Phasma. Top notch, truly.” He replied, watching her roll her eyes with great enjoyment. He already had an idea he knew where this was going, but he figured it didn’t hurt to let her talk._

_“Please be quiet while I speak, dear.” She turned to him, a smirk on her lips but that same concerned look in her eyes. “Kylo is with us this year and…well, you heard him, Hux. He’s_ never _done a gift exchange, and that’s just not right. Sure he’s an emotional dork, but he’s_ our _emotional dork and it isn’t fair that his parents are the only ones who give him gifts.”_

_“Where are you going with this? I was there for the same conversation as you, you know. I do know what he said.”_

_She rolled her eyes once more._

_“I know you know what I mean, don’t act obtuse. We need to get him something. He deserves to know he has people who care about him.”_

_Hux looked at her for a little while, trying to seem unsure about what she was saying. But they both knew it was an act. He had been going on long walks throughout the castle with Kylo lately. In fact, there were days where he saw Kylo more than Phasma, something that he refused to think about._

_Of course he was going to agree with her._

_*_

It had taken some doing, getting to Hogsmeade without Kylo. They had become so inseparable that trying to ditch him without hurting his feelings had been harder than expected. In the end, they came up with some contrived story about a prefect meeting that they had to attend. Something that was mandatory in order to prepare for the end of the term and would drag them away from everything else for several hours.

They made all the correct disgruntled noises with Kylo, but privately thanked Merlin when he seemed to believe them. This gave them a good two hours before they’d even need to _worry_ about him searching the castle.

The problem was that Hogsmeade was taking much longer than expected.

Phasma didn’t like any of the choices they’d found so far. Everything was too sentimental, or not sentimental enough.  Too impersonal, or personal to a weird degree.

She wanted this gift to be perfect and couldn’t make up her mind about what that meant.

It was in this vein that they entered Gladrags. Phasma must not have much hope left if they were going into a clothing store. They both constantly teased Kylo for his terrible taste in clothes. He probably wouldn’t appreciate anything they found here.

She wandered the aisles, running her hands over clothes as she walked by them, but not seeing anything she liked. She looked despondent—or at least as much as she ever did—as she kept going through the store. She fingered the ends of her scarf as she walked, coming to the back where the ties were.

Hux followed at a distance, waiting for her to spin around and storm out again, when something caught his eye. He turned, but before he could call her attention to it, he heard a gasp.

She was staring at the ties, her fingers still playing with the ends of her Slytherin scarf. She looked captivated, which was odd considering she was the first of them to rip her tie off each day. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she turned around.

“I know what we need to get him. Hells, Hux, he’ll love it. It’s perfect!” She looked so excited he almost hated to ask questions. But he had no idea what she was on about.

“What’s perfect?” He asked, eyes drifting off to the side. Phasma’s voice drew him back.

“We have to go back to the castle. We won’t find it here. Hux, I’m a genius!”

She was too wrapped up in how brilliant she was to hear him. Too focused on her goal to explain why they had just wasted the last few hours here, if they needed to go to the castle for the present. She rushed toward the front of the store and he was about to follow, when his eyes were again dragged off to the side.

In a moment he wouldn’t be able to explain to himself for some time, he hesitated to follow his friend.

“Phasma,” he called out, causing her to stop where she stood at the door and turn to look at him. She cocked her head to the side as he looked blankly into a stand of cloaks. “I’ll…catch up to you. I just saw…um…”

He trailed off. He knew she probably wanted to ask him about it, but he just repeated that she should go ahead without him. She hesitated for a moment longer, but when it seemed his attention was elsewhere, she shrugged and left the store.

Meanwhile, Hux walked to the rack, pushing aside the garish red thing in front and staring at what hung behind it. A brief glance at the price almost made him hesitate, but he couldn’t convince himself it was a bad idea. Reaching out, he grabbed it and rushed to the front of the store before he could stop himself.

*

Hux wasn’t sure how she’d convinced Kylo to come. After effectively ditching him the day before, he hadn’t been too pleased with them. Even if Phasma tried to blame it on “that confounded meeting,” Kylo wasn’t stupid. All it took was him walking into his common room and seeing one of the Gryffindor prefects in front of the fire to figure out there was no meeting. When he asked them about it, they insisted it wasn’t important, and Phasma told him that if he ever wanted to know he’d have to follow them.

He didn’t appreciate that answer, but they were still his friends. If Phasma wanted to drag him into an unused classroom for mysterious purposes, they all knew he’d follow along.

“What exactly is this about?” Kylo asked, looking morosely out the window.

Phasma was, as always, completely unimpressed by his moods. She smirked, taking a package out of her pocket and waving her wand over it, returning it to its original size.

“Hux and I wanted to give you this,” she said. She brandished the hastily wrapped gift in front of his nose.

In all honesty, Hux was excited to see him open this gift. If his fingers kept passing over what was in his own pocket, no one had to know except for him. He and Phasma both smiled as Kylo took the package, seeming unsure what to do with it.

“What?”

Phasma sighed, but Hux answered before she could say anything.

“We wanted to get you a Christmas gift. Now open the bloody thing so we can all go back to our common rooms.”

Kylo’s eyes widened and he looked between the two of them.

“But I—I mean—I didn’t get you guys…”

“Hey, we don’t leave for holidays for two more weeks, you have time,” Phasma interrupted. She waved her hand, encouraging him to stop talking. “Hux is right though. Open it, come on!”

Kylo looked down at the small gift, carefully pulling at the wrapping.

They watched in delight as he pulled out the tie, staring at it in confusion, before looking up at the two of them.

“What is…?”

In his hand, he held a Slytherin tie. The silver and green looked bright under the lights in the classroom.

Phasma chuckled. “We figured, you spend so much time with us, and it never made sense that you _weren’t_ in Slytherin anyway. So, we decided to make you an honorary snake.”

Hux smiled, watching Kylo stare at them in amazement. There was a slight twinkle of delight in his eyes, and a ridiculous smile forming on his lips.  Before he could say anything too sappy, Hux decided it was time to move. If they stood here much longer, his nervousness would get the better of him.

“Alright, yes, we’re brilliant people and you love us. Time to get to bed, we have exams in the morning.”

Phasma and Kylo rolled their eyes at him, Kylo giving Phasma an awkward but sincere hug. She smiled, bouncing toward the door and Kylo made to follow her. But before he could get too far, Hux grabbed his wrist.

She turned to the both of them, but for the second time in as many days, Hux gestured her away. “We’ll catch up; I just need to ask Kylo something.” Phasma smiled crookedly, nodding her head. She gave them one last searching look before leaving the room.

Kylo turned to him, tilting his head in curiosity, and Hux found his eyes drawn to the floor. He pulled the parcel out of his pocket, enlarging it the same way Phasma had moments ago.

“Look,” he began to say, clearing his throat when it seemed suddenly dry. “Phasma and I were only going to get you the one gift. But I saw this in a shop and thought of you and just…here.” He shoved the gift at Kylo, who was staring at him. He held it with the same care he had the tie, which now dangled around his neck.

Hux’s gift was much larger than a tie though.

Pulling away the wrapping, Hux shifted awkwardly as Kylo pulled out a large cloak. The outside was standard black, with a hood and a simple silver clasp. It was the inside that was different.

The inside was covered in stars. Constellations and galaxies and all forms of celestial wonder decorated the inner lining of the cloak. There were bits of silver and gold everywhere. Kylo fingered it, his mouth gaping and his eyes arrested on the material.

Hux shifted nervously, as words spewed out of him.

“I remembered our conversation about your grandfather, and I saw that while we were out and I…had to get it for you. I thought ‘Kylo would like this’ and well…I bought it.” He shrugged his shoulders, looking at Kylo and waiting for him to say something. They stood in awkward silence for several minutes until Kylo finally looked up at him.

“Hux this is…I don’t know what to say. This couldn’t have been cheap.”

He refused to let his eyes drop, but moved them to just over Kylo’s shoulder so he didn’t have to see him straight on.

“Yes well…Happy Christmas, Kylo.”

Suddenly, he was enveloped in a bear hug. Kylo’s arms wrapped around him, and he felt a strange sense of contentment overcome him. It wasn’t dissimilar to how he always felt after time spent alone with Kylo, and he found his arms reaching out to rest at Kylo’s waist.

“Thank you,” the boy whispered into his ear. Hux felt himself shiver the slightest bit, and he prayed Kylo wouldn’t exam it too closely. _He_ certainly wasn’t going to. “How will I ever live up to this?”

Hux pulled away the smallest amount, still standing in the circle of Kylo’s arms. They looked at each other for a quiet moment before Kylo remembered himself, stepping back and away.

“That isn’t necessary. We got the tie because we wanted to get you a gift and it was fitting. I got you the cloak because…” he trailed off, unsure how to continue. Shaking his head, he decided on “I got you the cloak because it suits you.”

He stared at Kylo, seeing a familiar look of stubbornness settling on the boy’s features. He wasn’t surprised by what he said next.

“I refuse to accept this without getting you— _both_ of you—something in return. My gifts will be so great you’re gonna wish you were as good at giving gifts as I am.”

Hux snickered, pleased to notice the strange feeling in his chest had diminished somewhat. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with. Although we leave in two weeks, so I’d encourage you to figure it out quickly.”

With that, he strode to the door, waiting for Kylo to gather his packages and catch up. The walk back to the tower was made in silence, Kylo fingering the material of the cloak the entire way.

Neither boy acknowledged the small smiles on both their faces.


	2. Fairytale of Hogwarts

Kylo paced his room, hands fisted in his hair as he thought harder than perhaps he had all year.

 

While other students were stressing over exams, he was worried about something that felt much more important.

 

What was he supposed to get Hux and Phasma for Christmas?

 

Not only had they taken the time to get him presents, but their gifts had been perfect for him. It warmed his heart every time he wore the tie or ran his fingers over the beautiful design of the cloak.  
  
At the beginning of the year he’d been so angry and lonely. He might still be angry at times but he was rarely lonely anymore, and even when he was alone he had the memories of their most recent adventures to entertain him. He never thought he wanted friends, never cared about sitting alone at lunch or walking to classes on his own. If he felt a little pang of longing watching the other Gryffindors talk and play games in the common room, it was easily tamped down. Usually. But now that he had Hux and Phasma, he couldn’t imagine going back. He couldn’t imagine his life without them anymore.

 

Which was why he had to get them something _good_.

 

Phasma was difficult because she was so open, so easygoing. Yes, she was honest, and if the gift was stupid she would tell him as much, but she would do so with a bright smile on her face and she’d treasure whatever it was, regardless. He had to get her something she would _actually_ like, not just keep out of fondness for him.

 

Hux was difficult for opposite reasons. He was quieter, more closed off, though he had opened up some to Kylo lately. Most of his interests were academic and Kylo didn’t want to make him think about classes more than he already did. That, and…

 

And Hux’s gift had caught him completely by surprise. Not just the fact that he’d given him one in the first place, when the tie have sufficed, but because it was so…heartfelt. Hux saw the beautiful cloak and _thought of Kylo_. For some reason, the very idea of Hux thinking about him even when they weren’t around each other made heart beat faster. And when he thought of _that_ his mind automatically wandered to their hug. Then he had to stop himself from thinking any further, because it was too much.

 

Every moment he wasn’t studying or enjoying the final moments with his friends for the term, he spent agonizing over what to get them. A trip to Hogsmeade offered no leads. He almost, _almost_ considered writing to his mother for advice. She had plenty of friends; she’d know what to do. But he wasn’t desperate enough to swallow his pride. Yet.

 

His idea for Phasma’s gift came to him suddenly in the middle of one of their dueling matches. The idea hit him and then one of Phasma’s spells _nearly_ hit him in his distraction.

 

“Careful!” she shouted, alarmed that he almost hadn’t deflected the attack. “Are you trying to get stupefied so you don’t have to go to your Potions exam or something? …where are you going?”

 

Kylo was already halfway out the door.

 

“Just remembered something. Catch you later, Phas!” his voice echoed from the hallway.

 

Phasma sighed and wondered, not for the first time, how she ended up with such weird friends.

 

 

*

 

 

Kylo felt a little better once he had Phasma’s gift, but there was still the matter of Hux. The closer the end of the school year drew, the more anxious he became over it. He managed, barely, to not let his nerves hurt his studies. In fact, he felt confident he’d done well this year, partly due to his friends’ help in his weaker subjects.

 

Knowing that only made him worry more.

 

One morning at breakfast he was sitting in the spot he’d managed to procure at the Slytherin table, somberly poking at his eggs. Phasma was sitting across from him pointedly trying not to look too concerned. She was about to finally say something when Hux showed up, fuming silently. He dropped his bag and books heavily onto the table and tossed aside his scarf. On top of the books was a folded up letter, and underneath it Kylo and Phasma could just make out the seal on the envelope with Hux’s family’s crest.  
  
Hux’s eyes were bloodshot and he was paler than usual, the result of long all-nighters spent squinting over textbooks. He said nothing, just took his fork and began shoveling food into his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in days while Kylo and Phasma watched.

 

A strange little chime drew their attention away from the sad sight and down to Hux’s school bag. Kylo knew that sound all too well by now; it was Hux’s alarm. Different tunes indicated things ranging from class to prefect meetings to some extracurricular or another. This was the one he’d set up specially to keep him on track with his studying. Hux groaned and pulled out the offending object: a large, worn pocket watch, a family heirloom. He mumbled the incantation that shut the alarm off then looked longingly at his half-finished meal. With a resigned sigh, he grabbed his bag and books and began to leave the table.

 

“Wait,” Kylo and Phasma said in unison. Hux stopped. He looked back at him with a mix of curiosity and irritation.

 

With a wave of her wand, Phasma transfigured his napkin into a small take-out container and moved his food into it. While she worked on that, Kylo grabbed Hux’s forgotten scarf and looped it around his neck. Phasma shoved the box of food into Hux’s hands and they both stepped back. He shot them a quick, grateful smile then hurried away.

 

As Kylo sat back down, he realized that stupid alarm jingle was stuck in his head. Grumbling, he raised his fork to his mouth, then froze, the wheels in his mind turning rapidly.

 

He leaped back out of his seat and shoved a few things into his bag. Almost as an afterthought he grabbed the last muffin out of the basket on the table.

 

“Have a good day,” he told Phasma with a quick wave and a grin as he left. She waved back and shook her head.

 

 

*

 

 

Kylo waited until their exams were over to ask Hux and Phasma to meet up with him. Together they snuck up to the East Wing, which was as empty as they’d hoped, the remaining students still concentrated in the library, great hall and dormitories. Kylo wore his new cloak and, if the frequent pleased glances were any indication, Hux had noticed.

 

“Alright, Ky, why are we up here?”

 

“I have your gifts,” Kylo declared.

 

Phasma grinned and Hux looked bewildered. In the scramble of completing schoolwork he’d nearly forgotten Kylo was getting them something.

 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Phasma said, “but since you did…let’s see it.”

 

“Fine, since you’re so eager, you first.”  


Kylo pulled out a medium-sized package. She eagerly opened it to reveal a round pedestal, about the width of a plate and a few inches high. Her brows pulled together in confusion as she examined it all over. Finally, she gave up, and looked to Kylo for answers. His eyes were gleaming mischievously.

 

“Set it on the ground,” he said, and Phasma did. Kylo took out his wand and flicked it sharply. “ _Inimica._ ”

 

The platform’s center lit up and a figure emerged. It took the form of a head and torso, standing about five feet tall. It was wearing Slytherin robes and had a mop of black hair; its face consisted of exaggerated features that looked vaguely like Kylo, but just different enough to be unsettling.

 

“It’s a practice dummy for dueling. I, uh, customized it for you,” he said with a smirk, tugging on a bit of its hair. “Thought you’d want to know what it’s like to win against me sometimes.”

 

Phasma stared and stared. Then her face lit up and she doubled over with laughter. She laughed so hard that Kylo and Hux began to worry that she’d pass out. Before they could intervene, she straightened and wiped at her eyes, still giggling.

 

“First of all, you are a genius,” and she pulled Kylo into a hug. She squeezed him close for a moment then released him. “Second, _please_. We both know I win twice as often. Are you sure _you_ don’t need this?” She ruffled his already unruly hair. “Thank you. Really. It’s everything I didn’t know I needed.”

 

Kylo smiled.

 

“You’re welcome. Happy Christmas, Phas.”

 

With another word and wave of his wand, the dummy disappeared once more into the pedestal and Phasma tucked it away into its box. She looked back at Kylo, who was fiddling with something in his pocket, and Hux, who was suddenly very interested in the pattern of the carpet at his feet.

 

“Well, it’s been fun, boys, but I have some last minute prefect stuff to handle.” It was a lie and they all knew it. She held up her gift. “Plus, I have to make this fit in my trunk. See you two tonight?”

 

She swooped off so fast they didn’t even have a chance to answer.

 

Without her energetic presence, an awkward silence descended over the room. Kylo bit his lip. He looked over at Hux, who didn’t seem to know what to say any more than he did.

 

“I, um…have something for you, too.”

 

“And I told you that wasn’t necessary,” Hux muttered.

 

Kylo saw Hux flinch and knew he was mentally kicking himself, that he hadn’t intended his words to come out harshly. He gave Hux a reassuring smile.

 

“Since when have I ever listened to you?”  


The quip made Hux relax a little. He stepped closer until they were standing right in front of each other. Kylo pulled a small box out of his pocket and handed it to him.

 

Hux took it and opened it slowly. When he saw what was inside, his breath caught a little. He carefully pulled out a beautiful golden pocket watch on a thin chain and set it in his palm to examine it.

 

Unlike his father’s old, clunky one, this watch was gleaming and delicate. An intricate etched design resembling a sun embellished the outside. Hux pressed the latch release and it popped open, revealing an ivory face with elegant black hands and numbers. In the center was a tiny gold cat silhouette which popped to life every minute to nudge the hand to its next place.

 

Hux stared at it, his thumb moving lightly over the edge while his other hand played with the chain.

 

“I thought you could use a new one,” Kylo said quietly, “I know the one you have is…passed down in your family, or whatever, but…but…”

 

He’d been thinking about what to say for days and now the words were sticking in his throat. He took a deep breath, looked down at his hands and started again.

 

“You’re not your family, Hux. You’re not your father or any of the people before him, and you don’t belong to them either. You deserve things of your own, because you’re your own person, and…” Kylo cleared his throat. “…and you’re amazing. You’re going to be an incredible wizard and I hope I’m there to see it.”

 

The silence stretched on until Kylo couldn’t bear it; he peeked up to look at Hux.

 

Hux’s lips were parted slightly and his wide eyes were, to Kylo’s alarm, rapidly misting over.

 

“…do you like it?”

 

Suddenly, Kylo had an armful of gangly redhead. Hux’s face was buried in his shoulder and his soft hair tickled Kylo’s neck. Once he got over the shock Kylo wasted no time wrapping his arms around his friend’s slight frame. He even let his hands rub Hux’s back a little. Just a little.

 

“Do you need a minute?” Kylo mumbled. His mouth twitched up when the only response was a small nod against his shoulder.

 

They stood there like that until Hux was ready. He pulled back and finally met Kylo’s eyes. Kylo politely didn’t comment on his flushed cheeks; his own were feeling rather warm at the moment. Hux took a deep breath, and then,

 

“You really are an idiot.”

 

“ _What?_ ” That was not the thanks Kylo had been expecting.

 

“‘Do I like it’,” Hux scoffed, “Kylo, this is…” He looked at the watch in his hand again, stroking a thumb over the design. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever given me.”

 

“It wasn’t _that_ expensive…”

 

“That’s not what I meant.”  


“Oh.”

 

Hux smiled warmly up at him and Kylo’s heartbeat sped up. That had been happening a lot lately.

 

“Thank you, Kylo.”

 

Then Hux took out the old watch and held it up next to the new one. He gave the old one a scornful look and dangled it by its chain.

 

“Want some target practice?”

 

“You’re kidding.”  


“I’m not.”

 

Hux tossed it up into the air and Kylo fired a spell at it. With a satisfying _crack_ , the watch exploded like a small firework. They watched the sparks flutter to the ground. When Kylo turned back to Hux, he found Hux already watching him, a strange, soft expression on his face.

 

“You know,” Hux said, “I think I might miss you a bit over break.”

 

Kylo _beamed_.

 

“I think I might miss you, too, Hux. Only a little, of course.”

 

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 9-7-16: so [louhuan](http://louhuan.tumblr.com) made more fantastic [fanart](http://louhuan.tumblr.com/post/150061026100/kylo-trying-on-his-cloak) of our work. I'm linking to the original post so that you can all see the amazing headcanons they've come up with too :)
> 
> Come say hey on [our](http://fandomfix8.tumblr.com) [tumblrs](http://obsessions-and-dreams.tumblr.com)!


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